Adhesives under Swiss Guard

Browsing the net or browsing the book stall isn't the only kind of browsing people are doing these days. They are browsing a lot of different things. For example, you can browse your own blog. I just did that wonderful thing, and you know what I found out, I just found that I have been publishing very intelligent posts lately. Very intelligent and for that sole reason, very irrelevant in this world. And then you see, I'm the lord of bakarthoery, not some intelligentstuff theory, or something like that. If I can't publish crap, no one else can. But then everybody in the world is doing that. That's what the web is all about, you publish crap !! It's as simple as that. I'm not the sole responsibility to induce intelligence in the world. And nobody even ask me to publish intelligent posts. And most events occurring around me are some of the most unintelligent things happening in the world. So I, Solemnly pledge today to relive myself of all my responsibilities to make this world an intelligent and hopeful place to live in.

Okay (sigh !! feeling relieved). So lets start with one of those things that just happened to me in very recent past, recent enough to call it present. I just met up with an old childhood friend. We used to call him 'Pochcha' ('Pochcha' is a kind of sweeping cloth, generally torn underwears, used by domestic servants in middle class families to clean the floor). His father is the owner of an adhesive company. When we were in 3rd standard, and were like cute little puppies, he forcefully made me believe that he owns the biggest company in the world manufacturing Fevicol, and is the richest person alive in the world for past 100 years ( that was the age of the earth according to him and he didn't acquainted with numeration after 100). They manufacture adhesives by a very complicated and multi-step processes involving 100s of coins. In first step they used to melt the coins and in second step it became adhesives. These coins were swiss Rupees, worth hundred of rupees and were manufactured in their Swiss factory located in Switzerland. Then they used to carry the adhesives back to India in a train, and it was guarded by hundred thousand million swiss soldiers ( I'm just translating how many times he said hundred into shorter terms). And those soldiers were under command of none other than the President of Switzerland - Hitler. Well, I never believed a word of what he said, but circumstances made me pretend that I did.

Today after several years, we met again. He has grown smart looks, and stands 7 inches taller than me and twice wide with 6 pack abs and stretched muscles. Of course, I didn't call him 'Pochcha'. He was on his Charisma, and I learned later, was going back after throwing a treat to his friends, as he successfully tugged 75 on IQ tests on his 9th attempt. Good for him. He really needs it. More than I need those six pack abs and muscles. Luck can be merciless at times. Anyways, as he went past me, I started the all unintelligent conversation, one among those that always keep happening with me.


Me : Hey !

Pochcha : Hey ?

Me: You recognize me ?

Pochcha: Uhmm...??

Me: I'm Amit. Remember we were in school together some time back?

Pochcha: Oh yes ! Now I do. How'r you doing buddy ?

Me: Great ! What about you ?

Pochcha: I'm fucking whores !! 100s of whores.

Me: Great !! ( Pretending to look impressed)

Pochcha: ( Showing off, acting to chew a chewing gum he don't have in his mouth and pretending to hum a song as if I'm really impressed. Bragging actually).

Me: So what are you doing these days except fucking whores. I mean, you must be attending some college right?

Pochcha: Yaa, I'm doing my BA. It's Bay..Bay..something of arts. I don't know the name of the college.

Me: That's nice.

Pochcha: What college are you in anyway( taunting, as if I know the name of my college)

Me: I'm in IIT Roorkee.

Pochcha: Ohhh....IIT ( impressed). Is it in Delhi ?

Me: It's IIT Roorkee buddy.

Pochcha: Yeah! But where is it? Delhi ?

Me: It's IIT Roor...Yaa. It's in Delhi.

Pochcha: So what are you doing there, B.Com ?

Me: It's actually 5 years Integrat...yaa B.Com.

Pochcha: Ohh ! I knew One day you'll be doing a B.Com. B.Com in Science stream or Medical.

Me: Science.

Pochcha: Nice !! Nice !! So ? made any girlfreinds ? ( Showing his muscles as if he was supposed to while asking this question. Life can be very unfair)

Me: Nah ! We don't have a lot of girls in there.

Pochcha: Where ?

Me: In my college.

Pochcha: So what ? I fuck whores all around Delhi. You can't restrict yourself to just the college.

Me:But I don't have muscles like you.

Pochcha: ( Showing off, acting to chew a chewing gum he don't have in his mouth and pretending to hum a song as if I'm really impressed. Bragging actually).

Me:( Trying to act modest, pretending I don't want to slice him into two pieces)

Pochcha: Hey! You know about my adhesive company, TicToc Adhesives.

Me:Yaa...(For God's sake...say you burnt the factory. What company will have it's name TicToc, anyway?)

Pochcha: You know, we signed a deal with a swiss company. Soon we'll be opening up in Switzerland. We'll be manufacturing Swiss adhesives then.

Me:(Here we go !!)

Pochcha: After the deal, we will be one of the biggest adhesives companies in the country. We will become very very rich. Hundreds of thousands of millions of...

Me: Hey ! It's been nice talking to you. Really. But I'm extremely short of time. Got to go. Now. Take care. Bye

Pochcha: Bye ( and wheels off)


A week later, I read in a local newspaper that a local adhesive manufacturing company - TicToc adhesives has signed a deal with a swiss manufacturer of local goods. This deal will allow Indian company to manufacture deal for the swiss company and it's sub-units. And also allow to expand it's base in rest of the Europe. The Indian company, which had been operating locally within NCR, will become one of the leading adhesive manufacturers in the country. It's a significant deal because now even small companies are going global and expanding ata very fast rate, and as in this example, bagging big deals so as to emerge the top players. This deal ...

Life can be very very very unfair.